Harry POtter and the Teasing
by cold meadow
Summary: Harry.P and Voldemort are in a really dramatic fight, but then harry starts teasing Voldemort, and visa versa. All hell brake's loose. rated T for swearing and sexual references.


**Hey. This is just a one shot, about Harry Potter and Voldemort teasing each other, and I thought it would be soooo funny to write so I will tell you how the idea came for this one-shot.**

**I and my friend Makayla were being silly in English class, and we were talking about emotions, and the emotion that came up was mortified. So me and Makayla were just saying random thing's that rhymed with mortified, and Makayla said Voldemort, and so I made up a word that rhymed with that … which you will see in the story, anyways, we just keep on laughing about this word, we got detention for disrupting the class, and I decided to write a story about the word that rhymed with Voldemort. So, yeah, pretty stupid, but I hope you enjoy! Okay and this ignores Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollow's.**

**Sorry if this offends you, but there is no offending intended **

**Harry's POV:**

This was it, the final battle between me and Voldemort, and standing across from him, our wands raised, I realised just how ugly and old looking he was,

"_Crucius_!" He yelled, and I dodged it neatly,

"Is that all you got, you … you … OLD FART!" I screamed back at him,

"Ooh, I'm so hurt, Harry Plopper!" He laughed at me, and I cried,

"Avada Cadavra!" And a green light shot out from my wand, and hit the stone wall that was behind Voldemort,

"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA YOU MISSED RETARD! YOU CANT AIM!"

"Oh, shut up! It's not fair, everybody pick's on me!" I cried and sank to my knee's,

"Aaaaw somebody's got her feminine problems, do you have tampon's on ya' Plopper?"

"Shut up! You ugly piece of crap, no wonder you have no friends, you stink like old people! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SHAME, YOU SPAZ!"

He aimed at me again, and I aimed at him, rising to stand again,

"Avada Cadavra!" he yelled at the same time I yelled "Expelliarmus!" and our spell's met at the middle, I grunted in frustration, and I was sweating hard out, but Volde-Ugly wasn't, but I don't think people who have their face reconstructed can, cant they ? I screamed –in a manly way- and my spell got a bit closer to him, and further away from him, and he grunted as well, eew, shame, he sound's retarded when he grunts,

"I'M GUNNA KILL YOU, STUPID BASTARD!" I screamed,

"NO, I AM, SO BUGGER OFF!"

"NO, OLD PEOPLE ARE CRIPPLED! MWAHAAHAHAHAHAHA I'M SO EVIL" I laughed evilly,

"NO, IM THE EVIL ONE, DON'T TRY TO BE SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT! GOODY-TWO-SHOES SPAZ HEAD!" he laughed back at me,

Wtf? Spaz Head?!

"WHAT A LAME COME-BACK! YOU'RE SUCH AN UGLY SPAZ, YOU LOOK LIKE PARIS HILTON WITH YOU'RE PLASITC FACE!" I yelled, and his spell came a little closer to me now,

"I DON'T HAVE A PLASTIC FACE! YOU'RE THE FAKE ONE!"

"NO, YOU'RE THE FAKE ONE, THEY SAY YOU ARE SCARED OF NOTHING, BUT YOU ARE, YOU'RE SHIT SCARED OF ME! SO SHAME!" I screamed back, and our spell's broke, and there were no more spells to concentrate on now,

"That is not true, you're scared of me"

"I am not scared of you."

"Sure, sure, SPAZ"

"Yeah, whatever … um … um … MOULDY WART! Ahharaharhar "

"Mouldy wart? You're SO MEAN!"

"Well, you're retarded, then, because I hate you, everybody hate's you, because you are old, ugly, mean, sadistic, you stink, and fart a lot" I screamed,

"I do not fart!" But, just then, Mouldy Wart farted, and it took a second for the smell to come to me,

"OMG, EEW! LEMME GUESS ... NACHO'S AND BEANS ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew it smelled like bena's and nacho's

"yeep, Bellatrix made them for me last night when she ... stayed over"

"DUDE! You finally got some ass! OMG, how was she?!"

Then he got in full details then,

"REEEEEAAAALLLLL adventerous, omg, she did this thing with my ..."

"Okaaaaay, thats enough" he was really starting to scare the shit out of me!

"Oh, okay. OMG I nearly forgot, we are supposed to be fighting, mate"

"Im not you're mate, faggot" MWAHAHAHAHA!

Voldemort scoffed, and I quickly said Avada Cadavra, and he died.

**THE END**

**So, the word was mouldy wart, It's pretty random, I know, but I hope that you liked it.**

**Please review! Yes, put the cursor over the green button and press the mouse, I love reviews !**

**So much!**


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